I walked into the orderlys room and asked Sarge if I could borrow his master key. I wouldnt set foot on any ship that intentionally sinks.. When the Marine finishes up, he starts to head for the door. She also liked her scotch. It helps to keep the pilot cool. Looking for military boot camp jokes? He would never get on my nerves, because he would always be gone. Not to mention, when spending many hours deployed and away from home, telling jokes and connecting through humor is the best way to avoid the difficulty of real life. Now he likes peanuts.. 36. The fighter jet stops whining once the engines are cut off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took . In college, my freshman-year roommate was in ROTC and came from a long line of military men. All you have to do is remove the dirt.. A military aircraft had gear problems on landing, and as the plane was skidding down the tarmac the tower controller asked if they needed assistance. A senior chief prompted his 25 sailors by saying, I have an easy job for the laziest man here. Turn it off and watch the pilot start sweating. Corporal Wabo is a former Infantry Squad Leader with 3rd Bn 4th Marines that specialized in Mortars. Aviation Humor. 32. Dear Veterans, You rock more than AC/DC or Metallica or Red Hot Chili Peppers. Problems reported by Pilots and Solutions noted by Aircraft Engineers in aircraft Technical Logs. Airspeed, altitude, and brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.. What do you call someone who joined the military out of spite? 17. Katees passion for writing and fascination for language has forever guided her path in life. My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, Where are you from? St. Why? I asked. A Recruiter Misled You. Why arent there any insects in an Army base? In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. When I was a Navy student pilot, I visited the home of a classmate. He thought he would be home about 13:30. ", The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Trask (his last name) used that heritage to lord it over me. Death is just natures way of telling you to watch your airspeed. Every one knows the definition of a good landing is one you can walk away from. While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. Francis Marion, the Swamp Fox, Revolutionized American Warfare. Theres a post recall and he has to go to work. Me: Still the wrong number. When the sergeant told our new commander that his driver could not participate in an upcoming field maneuver because she was pregnant, the enraged commander demanded to know just how pregnant she was. Whats the difference between a special forces member of the Navy and an otter? 18. March forth! Then came Dads ships turn. Pilot "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Now, I was shy of six feet tall, but when our drill sergeant called for all six-footers to line up, I stepped forward anyway. Reproduction of any part of this website without direct permission is prohibited. They are the ones protecting us at all times from external threats. How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb? What should have been the day we chose to celebrate World Military Day? 41. During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had artistic abilities. Everything from puns to some sarcastic one-liners are included in the Army jokes below to crack on an Army member you know and love. There are so many funny military jokes and jabs out there so it took me a while to compile a list of only the best. StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor. During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. 2. Was looking for the best candidate to fill a spot on a field team. Now, they are wanted for dessertion. Connors eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, You used to be a bear?. USA: Choppers Filed Under: Lifestyle, Veteran Life Tagged With: funny, humor, jokes, military jokes. All of a sudden, a lieutenant pulls up, hops out, and asks Is your car stuck sir?, The general climbs out, hands his keys over, and slides into the lieutenants car before saying, Nope. Members of the U.S. Navy are known to be a pretty sarcastic bunch. In large gold letters was printed: TRASH. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. 4th of July 2022: Celebrating the Birth of Our Nation & Its Heroes, Military Appreciation Month 2022: Saluting Those Who Serve, Veterans Day 2022: Celebrating Those Whove Served. You can always leave the joke in a funny mug, or a pilot mug if the person is into aviation. Im throwing up just as far as the rest of these guys.. 65. My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. Either way, it is a simple gesture that will be sure to get a grin. Bad altitude. From the pilot during his welcome message: We are pleased to announce that we have some of the best Flight Attendants in the aviation industry. While drinking their beers, the smart-ass fighter pilot decided to ask, How many did you end up catching today.. Its a NO FLY zone! "They're all mine. Overheard on a flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight to control it. I waited for whoever it was to prove he was an American and reply with the countersign, Marshall. Instead, silence.George! There are optimists and pessimists in aviation. If a baby joined the Army, where would they belong? Spread the humor by leaving a secret written joke on a neighbor's stoop, a colleague's desk, or mail it to your best friend. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. Sergeant, he said, what if we dont have any initials? Matthew Nazarian. Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. You might be in the Coast Guard if your idea of aromatherapy is Simple Green and JP5. Semper Pie In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. But my fears were put to rest one day while getting into formation, which was determined by height. He snapped off a salute and responded, I dont know, sir! Turning to the sergeant, he asked, Gunnery, where is my foxhole? 7. Attention! Major countries like the USA, India, Russia, and China have the . Did you make it all by yourself? Good judgment comes from experience. But I had the last laugh. Some of the jokes on this list I first read and on their websites. Unfortunately, the sun was shining Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. When they landed, the pilot turned to Warren and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. What are you doing? I asked. How tough? 66. She's been working as a writer, editor, QA specialist, and SEO professional for more than four years. The two lads objected strongly. "He who is first will soon be last, and now I know what he means," King said, referencing a lyric from Bob Dylan as he reflected on what the race . I told him that I had a date that night and asked for a very close shave. But yours is.. The official allowed us to pass without opening a single suitcase. You should always use any of that variety of jokes sparingly. Reliable sources report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. I felt confident as I aimed and squeezed the trigger of my carbine for my first shot. A Military lab has developed a pizza that boasts a shelf life of three years without being frozen, and now the Week has asked its readers to name this durable dish. Building the Army is a part of the government's tasks, and the military is made to protect citizens during war-time. You can see why: The U.S. Navy uses the stars to navigate. What did the Coastie say when his friends asked why he was getting married? Airman: The worst was when the air conditioner broke in our tent and it was 110 degrees outside! Every military branch thinks that theyre the best, the most important, and in their own way the hardest working. The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot". As I left the barbershop with sideburns in hand, I heard him ask his next victim, Where are you from? The optimist invests the aeroplane and the pessimist invents the parachute. 12. As soon as we have sorted out Kosovo, Bosnia, Macedonia, Serbia, Iraq, Northern Ireland, Sierra Leone, The Congo, marching up and down bits of tarmac in London and compulsory health and safety at work training, we will return your call. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to join the Marines.. Landings are mandatory. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess" He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. Hazing the new guy, he said with a grin. In an attempt to keep, the passengers from standing or moving around before taxiing was completed the Flight Attendant of an internal flight said over the PA, "Ladies and Gentlemen. In his free time, he enjoys hunting, hiking, running, shooting guns, and reviewing gear. After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base, in Germany, with my eight siblings and me, all under age 11. Full Disclosure Here. The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. Rodrigues there? In the 60s, the CIA hatched a plan to implant a battery and a microphone in a cat so the furry feline could spy on unsuspecting targets. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have, 16. Why? I asked. Why does the military have a strict dress code for ceremonies and events? Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. Ask the Marines to secure a building and they will charge in, kill everybody inside, and then set up defenses to make sure nobody gets in. A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. Guys, do you know some jokes related to military aviation? While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. The real definition of USCG is Uncle Sams Confused Group.. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Aircraft Pilot "Radar, we're a flight of two A10s, currently overhead and, er, we've forgotten our callsign", Radar Controller: "No problem, we'll allocate temporary ones: adopt callsign Stupid One and Stupid Two". The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. S | Auto land not installed on this aircraft. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees", "But Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over? However, one day he came into the room whistling with a smile on his face. Military jokes, Aviation humor, Military humor Explore Education Career Save From scontent-mxp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net Military Jokes N Nawar K. 644 followers More information Military Jokes Army Humor Funny Photos Funny Images Aviation Humor History Jokes Warrior Quotes Stupid Funny Memes Hilarious More information . Ocean Pearl, I answered. Anecdotes 1. Six Triple Eight Film by Tyler Perry Is Coming to Netflix, Havana Syndrome Still a Mystery, but Foreign Involvement Unlikely, After a Storied Career, Paris Davis Is Finally Receiving His Medal of Honor, Here are 200 Remote Jobs for Veterans in 2023. How tough? Why, certainly, young man, he said, as he reached under his desk and handed me a large pair of bolt cutters. Why Do We Celebrate It? (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan). It works just like every other seat belt and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised, 26. You would think that being a submarine captain would pay well, but Ive heard that they cant keep their heads above water. Even if you arent in the military yourself, try reading some of these out loud to someone you know in a particular branch and watch as their face lights up. When the plane was descending for the landing, the Marine put his boots back on and quickly realized the Soldier had been spitting in his boots. Upon the Vietnam war's conclusion a lot of money was invested in creating the next class of aircraft. Learn from the mistakes of others. 2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship. After my niece returned from her second tour in Iraq, I remarked how beautiful her complexion looked. The guy put down the paper, turned to my friend, and said, Well, there goes the light bulb.. Airman: "The worst was when the air conditioner broke in our tent and it was 110 degrees outside!" Soldier: "No way, you guys had air conditioners? My husbands cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. Whats an LMD? I asked. The Soldier agreed, and when the Marine went to get his drink he started spitting in the Marines boots. Unfortunately for him, our lecturer caught him. What has a nose and flies, but can't smell? Do you know where the sensor is located? my coworker asked. I enjoyed the humor section quite a bit. The tenant shook her head. You had tents?, USAF: Birds Black said he jokes about getting a sense of what America thinks about its military by the movies that come out, and the only decent military movie in recent years, in his opinion, was "Top Gun . Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. Rodrigues there? Stay out of clouds. 39. A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. I never knew you had such a weak stomach, I said. All images on our website are the property of their respective owners. One day you will walk out to your aircraft NOT KNOWING that it is your last flight. St. Home Blog 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2022 Edition). Forty years later, Dad met the man responsible, and he told him how impressed he had been. I was awakened late one night by a phone call from nearby Fort Meade, in Maryland. 8.3.4 Modern aviation history. Even those who work in relation to the military, such as the Department of Defense, or know someone that has served, are bound to find a few of these hilarious. 34. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. However, the mood was brightened when he received a birthday cake from We were inspecting several lots of grenades. In-dough-structible You had tents?, A drill sergeant yells at his young trainee, I didnt see you at camouflage training this morning, private!, The private replies, Well, thank you very much, sir., A general gets stuck in his Jeep on the side of the road. One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment. Chicago. Why do members of the military often marry lovers from the foreign countries they were deployed in? From the plane came a laconic southern voice: . Whats the difference between God and a fighter pilot? What happened Sergeant? Do you know where the sensor is located? my My husband is infantry, and he said the most wonderful things to convince me to marry him:
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